Do you ever get sick and tired of everyone looking to you to solve all their problems and needs? I’m not talking about being their counselor. I’m talking about the one thousand requests I get each day like:
“Where’s my shirt?”
“What’s for dinner?”
“Please reply to my email…”
“Is the dry cleaning back?”
“Do you know where I put my…”
“Have you ordered my…”
Or statements like, “I can’t find my shoes,” which seem to imply I should be able to solve this mystery. Seriously, I’m a mother not a detective!
Being a woman is a complete joy… but can we also be honest and say, no matter your season of life, it has its challenges, too. That being said, why is it that women can be so critical of other women? We can be our own worst enemies. So today, I’m starting a series to encourage us to move out of the judgment zone.
Our first topic: Capacity.
Probably not what you expected… but for some time now, the thought has rattled around in my head how women judge each other on how they spend their time – and even on their mental temperament.
Let me explain.
I’d say I have a relatively high capacity; I tend to be able to juggle multiple balls. I’m not saying I do it well, but I’m not afraid to attempt it. Then, when the combination of my husband, our children, my job, and our ministry puts me at a place of juggling a dozen different items, I can call somebody and ask them to volunteer for one specific thing. To be completely transparent, if they say no because they’re too busy, I sometimes think, “Really? Seriously? You can’t meet for coffee with one woman while I’m trying to help 12 others?”
My flesh can judge. Ugh – that sounds pretty detached! Actually, I can be judgmental. That’s more accurate.
On the other end of the spectrum, however, is the woman who’s wired to handle a relatively smaller capacity. It’s just as easy for them to stand in judgment of us jugglers and have eyes of condemnation and disapproval. It’s very simple to take the “holier than thou” stand.
Who’s right? The woman who ferociously protects her calendar and meets the needs of her immediate family and no more? (This isn’t being a Mary.) Or the woman who, either with poise or with hair on fire, juggles the needs of her family while also reaching out to others? (Martha?)
The truth is there’s danger in either extreme… and an even greater danger when we think we’ll accomplish something positive by standing in judgment of the other. Most of the time our strong opinions of others surface from our own need for validation. Ouch!
God wired us all differently, but His Holy Spirit can speak to each of us and shine light on where we need to grow and change. The next time you’re tempted to quietly judge another woman, I challenge you to exchange your criticism for a quick prayer for the Lord to lavish His love on her. We all need a lot more love and a lot less critique.
I’d love to hear from you. Where else do you think we as women commonly judge one another?