Every marriage has its strengths and weaknesses. Chris and I differ in so many ways, but somehow our strengths and weaknesses generally help balance each of us out. And although we may have different reasons for coming to a conclusion, we agree on many more things than we disagree on.
However, there are a few things we don’t see eye-to-eye on and I thought I might bring a little levity and normality to disagreements in marriage as we arrive at this Thanksgiving weekend.
This one shouldn’t even be on the list. I’d actually forgotten about it until I told Chris I was going to write a blog on two things we disagree on. He added this one!
My knowledge of motorcycles is zero. My knowledge of motorcycle accidents is high. My uncle was killed on a motorcycle. We’ve had friends suffer significant injuries from motorcycles and ATVs. In light of this, when I was pregnant with Mark, I begged Chris to commit to not ever allowing Mark on a motorcycle. He’d never make that kind of promise. So, when Mark was about a year old, I developed a plan. Every time a motorcycle drove by us, I would point and say, “Dangerous.” Word associations work, people! One day, Mark was riding with Chris and pointed out the window and blew my cover when he yelled, “Dangerous!” So far, so good. Mark is not a motorcycle guy. 🙌🏼
2. Whom you marry.
I’m fully confident that our sovereign God, who knows every hair on my head, picked out one specific person for me to marry. Chris was supposed to marry me. I was supposed to marry him. I don’t think I was one of 20 women he could’ve picked from and all of them would’ve been fine with God. Of course, he might not have married me and God would’ve still blessed me. He deals with people not making right decisions all the time… that’s free will.
Chris says my argument doesn’t hold up theologically. Maybe not, but I thought I’d finally get him to agree with my position when I asked him this week, “Do you think someone else was supposed to walk through all this mess with you?” He’s super grateful for me, but even that just made him smile.
3. What’s encouraging.
Now, this one has gotten me in trouble and I would’ve never known that we approached encouragement differently if we hadn’t had to work on our encouragement skills recently.
When I need encouragement, I often think about all the struggles I could be having but am not currently having to deal with. So, I might say to Chris, “At least our children are both in college and healthy…” This is very true. But hearing another struggle someone else might currently have in no way helps pour courage into my sweet husband.
So, as you gather (or not!) for Thanksgiving festivities, I encourage you to stay off motorcycles, be grateful for who you’re married to (regardless of how God works it all out), and don’t try to pep-up someone else by telling them it could be worse. Let’s look ahead and remember God is faithful – in our highs and lows. We have breath in our lungs and He is in control. We have much to be thankful for.