Married but Alone……

Posted by on Jan 28, 2014 in Marriage | No Comments
Married but Alone……

At least every other week I sit down with a woman who, in her own words, says, “I wish my husband would be the spiritual leader of our home.” If you resonate with that statement, you are definitely not alone. Sadly, it is more the norm than we want to admit.

So what are you to do if you find yourself in the place where you long for your husband to long for more? Here are 4 reminders to guard you from discouragement as you watch for God’s activity:

1.God has not forgotten Often women have been praying for their husbands to draw closer to The Lord for years. You may think, “Why has God not answered my prayer?” Yet the very evidence that God cares is the fact that He has a woman who knows this man intimately praying for him. God has put the church in his bedroom.

2. Know Your Place It is easy to understand how a woman who is spending time in God’s word could begin to view herself as more discerning than her man. But WAIT! God has created a certain order. Imagine that God holds a big umbrella. Your husband is under that umbrella. As long as you stay within the span of your husband, you too are shielded from the elements. Unless your husband is asking you to do something against God’s will, the safest place you can be is honoring God by honoring your husband.

3. Look for his Strengths
In any relationship, when we long for something that is missing it is easy to focus on that deficit. We can become women who see every conversation and every exchange as a reminder of how our spouse is not what we desire. Rarely does a husband turn to The Lord as a result of a critical wife. Instead, we must be our husband’s advocate. We need to verbalize what we love about him. Honestly, verbally affirming people does not come naturally for me. If you fall in the same boat, start rowing! It is important that your husband know you value him… even if it requires us to work at it.

4. Take Your Cares to The Lord  If your husband is not connected to The Lord, you may have some legitimate needs that are not being met. In some aspects, you may find yourself “spiritually single.” In this way, you must look to The Lord to meet your needs. He is your safe place and strong tower. Trust Him to guide you and lead you to love your husband well while you wait on The Lord to draw your husband to Himself.

The enemy can want us to point the finger at God and ask “Why has He not Saved him?” Or “Why is he not growing?” Often we blame God for human choices. He has given your husband (and you) the ability to choose to love Him. Instead of blaming God for your husband’s choices, thank God that He is relentless in His pursuit of His children’s heart.

If you have ever found yourself in this position, I would love to hear how God has sustained and encouraged you in the waiting.


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