Been There, Done That: Newborns

There are some things in life we can only have wisdom on if we have “been there, done that.” I am grateful for those people in my life who are a few steps ahead of me who bring insight and wise counsel to me. One of these wise women that I seek perspective from is Kendall Tashie. This mother of six grown children has become a source of encouragement to many moms in the life of Highpoint Church and in the Memphis community. She has graciously agreed to share from her wealth of experience and knowledge over the next several weeks. From newborns to planning weddings, Kendall has not only been there and done that, but she has been there and done that multiple times!Here are Kendall’s top tips to bringing home a newborn:

1. You must normalize that you will not always know what is wrong with your baby.The baby did not come with an instruction manual. I can remember lying in bed one night listening to our sweet bundle crying very hard. Pete looked at me and asked, “What's wrong with him?” I had no idea. I had tended to all the basics - food, diaper change, perfect temperature – and still he screamed. Sometimes babies just cry.

2. Most babies require sleep training.You have to let them cry until they fall asleep so they can learn how to soothe themselves and fall asleep on their own. My husband had such a hard time allowing the baby to cry, so I asked the doctor a question: If she cried for 24 hours, would it kill her? He said, “No.” Somehow that perspective provided comfort when it took longer than we desired for the nursery to become quiet. Once you sleep train, your life gets much better. I am a firm believer in scheduling a baby's life so you can have a life. At about 6 weeks they need to be on a schedule you have planned.

3. Give yourself some time.After delivery, it really does take about 6 weeks for you to recover and for the baby to adjust to life outside the womb. Allow yourself and your baby this time with little expectations of your former life. By my 5th child, I had learned not to schedule anything I would have to do until the baby was at least 8 weeks old.

4. Be careful not to let your baby become the center of your world.You have many immediate needs to meet, but your husband is still there waiting to get his wife back. After 9 months of pregnancy and then 6 weeks of waiting, he has been pretty patient. I have heard husbands ask, "Does she even know I still live here?"

5. If you don't know whether or not you should call your doctor, just do it.They understand you are a new mom, and you will sleep much better. Another great idea is to find another mom with older children and call them first. I remember when my 6th child fell on his head. I prided myself on not being a hypochondriac. I did not call the doctor right away, but by the time I decided to call I was so anxious I could hardly dial the phone. I had made myself sick.

Thanks, Kendall!Stay tuned for Kendall’s top tips for mothers of toddlers… coming on Thursday!