Get on the Couch

Last night, after I’d made dinner, prepared lunches, ran by Walgreens for nail polish remover, dropped off the dry cleaning, and transported my daughter to small group, I remembered we needed new filters for our air conditioner. I thought I’d cry if I had to make one more stop. Yet life called. I know you know what I mean.As I drove to Home Depot, I kept thinking how much I wanted to be at home. Of all nights, this was the one when my house was quiet. It’s the only evening of the week when I’m alone. There’s nothing like a full house, but there’s also nothing like an empty house. Yet somehow, as I left Home Depot, instead of heading to my oasis of tranquility, I decided to go and work out. I knew the next few days would be stacked with meetings, so it was probably best to take advantage of the opportunity.When I finally arrived home, I found myself second-guessing my choice. In some ways, it was great that I worked out… but what’s wrong with me that I can’t be okay with just slowing down? Some days, I can feel so productive and intentional. Other days, I feel so haphazard and unintentional. As I rolled over to go to sleep later that night, I thought, “I can’t figure myself out.” Has that ever been you?The next morning, as I continued in 1 John 3 in my priority time, a piece of the puzzle appeared. Just after John instructs us that our love must be more than mere words, but also deed and truth, he reminds us that by making our love an action, “we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him.” Something seemed to speak to where I was. My heart was needing reassurance. But then I saw something in verse 20 that I’d never paid attention to:

"for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything."

I would never have known to describe it this way without reading this verse, but that battle is real. There are times when my own heart condemns me. Good is not good enough. I think performing more will satisfy me. Yet performing becomes striving for the approval of a god of my own making or an audience that doesn’t exist.Sometimes people can be frightened by the thought that God knows everything. In reality, it causes everything that is artificial to fade away. Every false pretense is snuffed out and we’re our true selves before the Lord. God knows whether we’re loving people in deed and truth. Almost everything else is insignificant. He’s not measuring my workouts or lunch-packing skills. He wants to know if I’m loving Him by loving others.[bctt tweet="God’s not measuring your workouts or lunch-packing skills."]For some of us, this means we need to give ourselves permission to not have it all together. We need to give ourselves permission to zone out for a few hours with our feet up on the couch. If you’ve only measured your value by your performance, then it’s time to try a different measure.Romans 8:1 reminds us, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”May we no longer condemn ourselves or even listen to our hearts. God is our judge and, believe it or not, He’s often a kinder judge than we are.[bctt tweet="God is our judge and, believe it or not, He’s often a kinder judge than we are."]