Interconnected

While at dinner with some friends last night, we commented on how interconnected Memphis is. It is amazing how Memphis shrinks when measured by relationships. It is the rare exception to meet someone that you cannot trace back to another previous connection.As I reflected on the commonness of overlapping relationships, I was reminded that there is an even greater sense of intertwining when it comes to the health of our relationships. All of us desire for healthy relationships, but rare is the person who can look across the spectrum and sense complete peace.As Christians, we know Romans 12:18 puts out a very tall order: “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” While that may appear a lofty goal, may I suggest that this is possible if we first narrow our focus and give attention to two specific relationships? To be at peace with all, we must first be at peace with God, and also at peace with ourselves. Stated another way: before you can be at peace in your horizontal relationships, you must be working on your vertical (God) and internal (self) relationships.The truth is that we have very little control over how other people view us or how they respond to God. We cannot control their reactions, but we have a great deal of control over how we relate to God and how we view ourselves. When we are not at peace with who we are, it can cause us to act unbecomingly to someone we care about.A few weeks ago, I was in a foul mood because of something that was said to me. Before I had processed that one unsettling comment, my daughter, Annika, made a passing remark. It was intended to be funny, but I was offended and responded with a sharp comment back. Before I even realized why I responded so curtly, I had already offended her.Trying to figure out why two conversations in a row went south so quickly, I realized that I had fallen into an age-old trap. Instead of being at peace with myself and letting the first remark roll off my back, I allowed the initial comment to stir up doubt and insecurity. I did not take it to the Lord. Then, I turned to Annika assuming validation. However, when I was greeted with a less than flattering comment, I chose to react out of hurt. Nothing like having to apologize to your child for having a critical spirit!Hurtful comments are a part of life. We do not, however, have to be victims. If we can find our sense of value in who we are as a child of God, we will not be vulnerable to the insecurities that our culture is so happy to encourage.Not sure how to truly find your value from the Lord instead of others? Tune in Tuesday for more…