It is My Fault!

It is always my fault! As a mom, do you ever feel like you try so hard, get credit for very little, and get blamed for everything?  Welcome to the dark side of conception! No one tells you that those cute bundles will grow up and deflect their failures to us in many moments of childish frustration over the years.I won’t name names to protect the guilty, but this morning I woke one child up who would have slept through his/her ride, got breakfast ready for them, and then went and waited in the car. The response, “Why do you yell at me when I am late?  Dad helps me get ready.”  Really? Everyone in the house was sleeping. I never even called upstairs let alone approached a yell. I don’t yell much, but you will know when I do! On another occasion, one of my children used and misplaced my cell phone. When they arrived at the car to head to practice, I had to run back in and hunt down my missing phone. Upon locating the device, I quickly headed to the car. A few minutes later I was asked if we would be on time. As I expressed that it would be tight, I heard “if we are late, it is your fault.”  Of course!I am almost ready to concede Chris as the favorite parent. I can justify surrendering the fight because when they leave the house, I know they will come back to see him…the favorite parent. I will always be with him, so I’ll get to see them, too. I say some of this in jest…but surely I am not the only mom that feels like the labor got much harder after the delivery. Moms are normally the ones making sure the family machine is functioning. We fill the refrigerator, fill the bellies, fill and empty the washers, fill out the permission slips, remove the filled diapers, and make sure the prescriptions are filled for each germ that comes our way.Do you realize this perk of blame is because we have loved them so well that moms make the perfect safe person upon which to unload frustration?  I never knew that secure love would bless me so much!  If your child seems to have two personalities… one for inside the house and one for everywhere else, don’t run to the doctor. You are in good company!Perhaps the best thing we can do is normalize the fact that deflection occurs. The enemy wants us to take their easily tossed out words and use them as weapons against our own hearts. The truth is that no one is a perfect mom, but all of us are doing the best we can.  The same is true with our kids… they are doing the best they can, too. As we imperfectly love our imperfect kids, I will remind you and me that sometimes we need to wear raincoats in our homes. Imagine yourself protected from the steady drip or the occasional storm of deflection. Just allow the misguided remarks to repel off. Don’t allow them to absorb into your thoughts. Just move on and remember,  “your response is your responsibility.”  One day, they will rise up and call us blessed, just probably not today!