The Pot Calling the Kettle Black
I have two amazing teenagers. Almost like the newborn phase, I find this season of life to be full of changes and new developments almost every day. Recently, it seems like we have had so many "firsts." First car, first day to drive to school by himself, first night at home going to bed with my child out driving, first tuxedo rental… you get the point. It’s an exciting season, to say the least.I’ve thought back to my own teenage years and that first time I got in my blue Toyota Corolla. I finally had the freedom that I was sure I had needed for the last several years. Mark feels the same way. He says he could live on his own now and I believe he really could… minus the minor detail of a paycheck. He is a resourceful, winsome young man who knows how to wash his clothes and clean a toilet. (By the way, don't get discouraged if this is not in your child's repertoire. I have a much longer list of things I’m sure I should’ve taught him by now, but have failed to! #missperfect)Similar to my teenage experience, part of my children's anxiousness to be further ahead than they are comes from their frontal lobe not being fully developed yet. The other part of it, however, they come by naturally. I was fiercely independent. Chris was fiercely independent. It should be no surprise, then, that we have two fiercely independent children! That independence makes this stage of the journey interesting, but I’m certain that we’ll have a blast as my children move from the teenage years into adulthood.As a parent, I can be guilty of examining and re-examining my children's attitudes and actions so closely that I forget to step back and see the big picture. Of course, we want our children to be a better version of ourselves. But sometimes we need to remember all the mistakes we’ve made along the way and be reminded that somehow we turned out just fine, too.When that preschooler has a strong opinion about what she wears, you might be able to relate. Is he a little messy? Maybe you are, too. Only yesterday I thought, "I can dirty a car faster than a toddler with a Happy Meal."I'm sure I'm not the only one who personifies the pot calling the kettle black. In an attempt to protect our children from the mistakes we made, or to provide the success we've experienced, we sometimes set unrealistic expectations and standards. By all means, set the bar high. But may we always remember that there were plenty of times that we didn't make that bar ourselves. May we not forget our own current shortfalls when we assess their progress in maturity.Do you also look at your children and see some eerie similarities? Is there anywhere that you need to step back and give them grace? I’d love to hear how you navigate this in your parenting. twitter | facebook