The Real Problem with Skeletons and Masks

The Real Problem with Skeletons and MasksThis time of year we see skeletons and Halloween masks everywhere.  If you were looking for a blog on how to handle them and the whole Halloween thing as a Christian parent, I am not so sure you want my thoughts. Last week my daughter announced that her biggest regret about her childhood is being deprived of the opportunity to trick-or-treat when she was younger! Gotta love it! I only pray that trick-o-treating deprivation will register as our biggest mistake in their eyes when we cross the 7000 day threshold.A bigger issue than the skeletons that spooks our children is the skeletons that moms try to hide in their proverbial closets while wearing their own masks. I recently was enjoying time with a group of women. One of the ladies with younger children mentioned being anxious about an upcoming parent teacher conference. An audible groan came from the other women gathered. We had all “been there, done that” and remembered the nauseous feeling of hearing a less than pristine report from a teacher or, heaven forbid, and administrator. Several women were empty nesters. A few of us are in the thick of things. One by one, we each reflected upon those difficult moments that we had experienced as our children navigated through various trials.I heard of port-o-potties being blown up, computer systems being hacked, classes being failed, and students being asked to leave schools. If the incident was far enough in the past, we chuckled. Somehow it was now safe to bring the skeleton out of the closet and remove the masks that we always had our acts together. The woman anticipating the conference realized that she was not alone. What a gift! Those of us contributing stories laugh now, but somehow in the midst of our children’s less than stellar moves we as woman often go silent. We isolate. We put on our masks that everything is fine, yet we allow the enemy to whisper that we should carry shame. Instead of being a band of sisters encouraging each other in our parenting like this mom experienced, moms frequently become a wall of judgment.As women who love the Lord, we are called to something different than the social norms. If you are aware of a child who is struggling or in trouble, then you know a mother who is struggling.  Here are three ways you can help break the cycle of skeletons and masks:Ø  Move towards the mom who has a child who is struggling instead of avoiding herØ  Address the elephant and remove the awkwardness when we “aren’t suppose to know” but everyone is talking anywayØ  Redirect a conversation among other moms that will otherwise likely lead to gossip by encouraging them to pray for the child and their familyParenting is hard work even with the most compliant children. I challenge you to shine light towards a mom who is walking through a tough season with her child. One day you will need light on your path, too.  Trust me.