UNMET EXPECTATIONS….

As a Christian, we are called to be set apart from the world in the way we love people. Last week, I challenged us to consider whether we truly are any different when it comes to loving people. Do we really love our enemies (gulp) or just the people that are kind to us? If you have been a Christian for any length of time, you may have been confronted with this truth and actually tried to love an enemy only to be disappointed with their response. If you are like me, it does not take more than one or two rejections before I want to throw up my hands and say, “Forget it!”So how do we live out this charge to love our enemy?The key lies in the phrase that Jesus spoke in Luke 6:35. Just four simple words could help each of us immensely: expecting nothing in return. Consider the full context, Jesus said, “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.”The idea of expecting nothing in return is applied literally to the idea of lending. Think about the last time you let someone borrow something. What happens if they do not return it? Or return it in poor condition?  We often make a mental note to never lend to them again. Irresponsibility is intolerable. I know of some who keep score. Not only is it whether you sent a thank you card, but how promptly. How would your attitude shift, if when you lend you truly expect nothing in return?  When you lend and do not expect to be repaid, it becomes a gift.We can also give our enemies and ourselves another gift, if we apply this same idea to the entire relationship. Consider what that would really look like. We constantly get bent out of shape because sinners act like sinners. Kind of ridiculous, isn’t it? What if we choose to remove the expectations from the people we see as enemies?  What if we realize that for this season, this is more about our maturing in Christ than how they respond?  What if we look to God for the right response instead of our enemy? What if we hold ourselves accountable to the right action, not our enemy?My husband has a relational IQ that is off the charts. I am not so high up in that particular category. A few times, I have come to him disappointed in a friendship. I will meet someone I connect with, but later realize the friendship is not going to be what I had desired. As I type, I can hear my husband’s voice say, “You need to adjust your expectations and redefine the relationship.” If that is true in healthy relationships, how much more does it apply to adversarial ones? When it comes to our enemies, we can let go of some of our pressure when we simply choose to expect nothing in return.