Walk Away

This summer has been a sweet time that brought with it some unexpected opportunities to hang out with some incredible single women. Between my kids and my normal course of ministry, I mainly get to be with teenagers or women over twenty-five. Through teaching Miss Perfect to a group of women in their early twenties, and then teaching at The House a couple of times (our new Highpoint Singles environment), I realized I’ve missed being with women in this stage of life.My bad memory makes a lot of my life feel like a fog, but I clearly remember some defining moments that occurred during college and my early twenties. One particular conversation this week reminded me of the toughest decision I ever made. At the time, it felt very costly and made me feel incredibly vulnerable. But in hindsight, the decision rewarded me with way more peace and dignity than it cost me. It also allowed me to move from being very vulnerable to very secure. If you know any single women, I encourage you to pass this along to them. It might not apply to her today, but it can probably save her a lot of grief at some point in her journey.Here’s how it went down for me…After taking my sweet time deciding if I liked my boyfriend enough to marry him, I finally came to the conclusion that the answer was yes. At the time, we were in colleges almost twelve hours apart. I decided I didn’t want to date long distance for three more years, so I transferred back to Rhodes College. My plan worked great… until three weeks before the new school year started. At that point, Chris broke up with me. I was devastated. I’d left a great situation and a school I loved to start over. Now, the very reason I returned home no longer existed.The breakup had been due to us acknowledging sin in our relationship. And as much as I wanted everything to be magically fixed, I had to make a decision to trust God. I had been a Christian all of seven months, so trusting God was still a new stretch. I had to be willing to believe God loved me and, even though my heart felt like it was in a thousand pieces, I had to be certain that God’s way of putting it back together would be the only type of lasting repair. I had to be willing to walk away. I had to leave the relationship alone and see what God wanted to do.As I talk to woman after woman, I find many of them know there are things in their relationships that are not pleasing to God. They know it, but they’re unwilling to walk away. They’re unwilling to trust that God knows what’s best. The truth is, until you take your hands off and see if God affirms the relationship, you will always second-guess. Some women barge forward and get married, only to carry a feeling of doubt and insecurity into the marriage.You must want a marriage that God can bless more than you want a man. I firmly believe that the reason I have the marriage I have today is because I was willing to put God first and trust Him with the results. God forgives. God restores. God redeems… If you will trust Him.Will you?