When your husband shouldn't listen to you...

Most women would agree that we live in a world that gives both strong and conflicting messages on what it looks like to be a successful woman. Does the number of dollars you earn or the number of children you raise measure your success? Is power or humility more attractive? We all have our own opinions. However, there are two qualities that all of us would agree are critical. As women, we must be wise and discerning.Whether you work full-time, are home raising children, or anywhere in between or beyond, all of us need wisdom and discernment. Reading Genesis 16 recently, I was reminded how critical it is that we possess these two character traits. More hangs in the balance than we realize. Wisdom and discernment aren’t just nice complements to our other qualities. They’re critical characteristics we must possess.In Genesis 16:2b, it says, “And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai.” Most of us read that and are likely glad that Abram was smart enough to listen to his wife! Maybe you even think, “I wish my husband would listen to me.” Only one problem: What Abram listened to wasn’t wise counsel. The context of this comment came as Sarai struggled. Abram wanted a son. Sarai’s desperation was equal, if not greater. After waiting decades for the Lord to remove the heartache of infertility, she decided that she’d figured out a way to give her husband the heir they desired. And Abram listened. Abram let his wife have it her way.Sarai’s plan seems almost unthinkable. She was willing to let her husband sleep with her servant. While cultures change over time, I’m sure Sarai had to have been desperate to propose this as the solution. After all, she wanted to carry his child. She wanted to birth her own child. She’d tried the God-honoring approach for years without receiving the answer she wanted. My heart goes out to Sarai, but a warning should go out to each of us.[bctt tweet="As women, we must be good stewards of the influence God gives us."]As women, we have more influence than we realize. We must be good stewards of the influence God gives us. Sarai’s decision had repercussions from the time of Abram all the way to present day. The child Abram and Sarai’s servant, Haggar, conceived wasn’t God’s plan to fulfill His promise to Abram. With even the best of intentions, Sarai circumvented God’s plan and wreaked havoc on her own family and on countless generations.If you know biblical history well, you may think Sarai’s an extreme illustration. I can hear, “Surely, my decision won’t birth another religion and divide countries?” This may be true… but as women, we must understand the power of our influence. None of us want to lead those we love astray. It’s critical that we’re good stewards of our influence. In light of that, here are three ways to help ensure your influence is for good:

1. Not sure what to do or how to contribute to a decision? Ask the Lord for wisdom.If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. (James 1:5)

2. Don’t assume your good idea is wisdom… ask the Lord for His wisdom.For the wisdom of this world is folly with God. For it is written, “He catches the wise in their craftiness”… (1 Corinthians 3:19)

3. Acknowledge when you aren’t in a good place. In a very practical sense, if you know you’re not in a great place, be humble and aware enough to admit it. I’m usually a vital part of decisions made in our home, but if I know that my thinking is skewed or I have a strong bias, I might defer input. Sometimes the wisest thing to do is to be quiet.