I Must Say Goodbye, part 1
The Conlee world has been a whirlwind for a while now – a tornado first, then a desert, and now a whirlwind. Somehow through the tornado and desert, I remain connected with the world through my blog and social media. The whirlwind stage pretty much brought that to a screeching halt. Maybe soon. These next few weeks are a start.
So I jolt you into my little world recently. I sat in our One City Church staff meeting early in the day. As we previewed the calendar, we discussed my upcoming teaching on Mother’s Day and potentially writing some blogs leading up to that. I added both to my To Do List.
Later that evening, I sat in our Tuesday night service, and the Lord connected all sorts of dots. Dots that finally brought some needed tears that I feel I need to share. If you were a part of the Highpoint family and you still need to shed some tears, too, I pray your tears will bring you the healing they brought me.
The last time I taught on Mother’s Day was in 2018 at Highpoint. I remember I didn’t feel physically great at the time with a nagging cough, but nothing would stop me from sharing God’s word. I remember the blouse I wore. It still hangs in my closet. I haven’t worn it since.
I remember getting very encouraging feedback on the message, and I remember a few people were irritated that a woman taught. I remember being hospitalized two days later with pneumonia… for the first time. The world unraveled from there, and we were fired less than six weeks later.
Last September, Highpoint decided to change its name. I completely understand that. Its name was drug through the mud, and a new pastor should bring the vision God has given him. We heard that news on the 2nd anniversary of One City Church, our new church we have planted in Memphis. The name change was announced on the 20th anniversary… which felt like the 20th birthday of our 3rd child.
The announcement felt like a death… but with some retrospect, it also allowed some closure. The day after Chris and I were fired, Chris said it would likely take five years for us to recover, and he was right. So today, before I say hello to teaching on Mother’s Day five years later, I must first say goodbye to my beloved Highpoint and share what I have learned. It is more than 500 words, so I hope you will return for part 2 next week.
God is faithful.
I knew this before 2018. I have 32 years of knowing firsthand that God is faithful, but that is not truly tested until you hit a place where you are incapable of fixing something painful. If you have lost a loved one, been in financial ruin, had a prodigal child, struggled with an addiction, or a variety of other “take your breath away seasons,” then you will understand that what you knew becomes what holds you up.
If you are in a “take your breath away” season right now, I encourage you to find someone who has come through the other side. You need stories to give you hope that you will make it through. God doesn’t always reverse things, but He always brings you through.
1. People are complicated, and the enemy is ruthless.
I am in ministry. That helped me realize people are complicated long before 2018. Healing came for me in choosing to acknowledge two things that previously were separate silos in my mind. All of us are a combination of our sinful nature, our experiences on this earth, and the amount our minds and hearts have been renewed. We are messy, and anyone who thinks they are not messy is confused.
What I didn’t fully grasp is that the enemy sometimes uses people I like and respect to do things that cause extreme pain. I naively thought the way the enemy would work would be through strangers. He does that, too, but he also can slyly whisper enough lies that even people who once supported you can come to a different understanding of a situation. Some of them were hurt, too. Some weren’t, but the unintended consequences of a few people were not a battle of flesh and blood but something only the enemy was clever enough to orchestrate to hurt hundreds, if not thousands, of innocent bystanders.
This story ends well, so subscribe to my blog or check back at the end of the week for part 2.