Trust Issues, part 3
As I come to my final post connected to the Trust Issues series, there are so many more layers that I could address. I will trust (pun intended) that the Lord will direct me back to this topic if He desires, but the one dangling thread I must address as I close out this series is one easier left unaddressed.
So many people walk around with bumps, bruises, and even broken hearts from some version of broken trust, sometimes with God and sometimes with people. While I know the enemy does his best to make people believe lies about God, I can confidently point you to God and tell you He is trustworthy. I have lived His faithfulness for decades. Even if you don't understand at the moment, even if you are called to remain steadfast under trial, His track record of faithfulness is unblemished -Scripturally and in real-time.
It is easier to leave the topic of trust right there, but that is not where God leaves it.
I want to tell you that if you have been hurt, you can trust God and leave imperfect people out of the equation. I want to say it can be "just you and God." Some people have opted for that formula, but the reality is that the God of "just you and God" did not create it to work that way.
Before I go further, let me remind you:
Forgiveness does not equal trust.
Sometimes we forgive, but for various reasons (emotional or physical safety, no longer being in that person's space enough to rebuild trust, they have died, etc.), trust will never be re-established.
Whether or not you re-engage with the person who broke your trust is nuanced, but what is not nuanced is that choosing to become a distrustful person is not an answer from God's perspective.
If you were wounded by someone or something and have given yourself a pass from trusting people again, I urge you to reconsider.
With 58 "one another's" in Scripture, you cannot make a Biblical case that God is okay with us building walls and keeping people at a distance. Please don't take my word for it. Here is just a small sample of God's word on how we are to engage with each other:
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 1 John 13:14
Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. 1 Peter 3:8
The one who says that he is in the Light and yet hates his brother or sister is in the darkness until now. The one who loves his brother and sister remains in the Light, and there is nothing in him to cause stumbling. But the one who hates his brother or sister is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going because the darkness has blinded his eyes. 1 John 2:9-11
Again, it would be easier if God designed it to just engage with Him, but He designed us to live in community. We actually need one another. Our places of brokenness and how we want to withdraw when trust is broken emphasize how much we are created to engage with one another. It would not hurt so much if we were not wired to need one another. Self-sufficiency is a mirage.
And if by chance you're still looking for a polite exit from asking God to do the needed work in your heart and you thought, "Karin, I can love someone and not trust them." I went down that train of thought too, and then I got stopped.
“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love…" (Romans 12:10)
"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." (Ephesians 5:21)
"…In humility consider others better than yourselves." (Philippians 2:3)
You can't submit to someone you don't trust, and you can't be devoted to someone you don't trust. You will not consider someone better than yourself if you view them as unworthy of your trust.
What does this mean?
Ask the Lord to show you where you have put walls up to keep people out.
If He shows you a wall, ask the Lord to help you experience healing in this area so you can be fully alive again. Obey the first step of what He says. We must partner with Him.
If you have patterns of trusting unhealthy people, be intentional about getting Biblical help to heal so you can establish trust with wisdom.